


you're looking like you fell in love tonight

by veidtous



Series: Color Theory [3]
Category: Football RPF
Genre: Longing, M/M, Wish Fulfillment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-28
Updated: 2015-08-28
Packaged: 2018-04-17 18:22:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4676705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/veidtous/pseuds/veidtous
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“What’s your favorite word?”</p><p>The end of July is too hot for Marco - the days leave a thick layer of sweat on his brow and on his body that seal in the bug bites that are covering his body. The sheets stick to his legs, the air conditioner in the villa can never get cold enough, and he can’t stand to eat anything hotter than a mild chili without feeling the urge to hide in the depth of the pool and hope that once he resurfaces it might be just a degree cooler.</p>
            </blockquote>





	you're looking like you fell in love tonight

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from the song 'Is there somewhere?' by Halsey.

“What’s your favorite word?”

The end of July is too hot for Marco - the days leave a thick layer of sweat on his brow and on his body that seal in the bug bites that are covering his body. The sheets stick to his legs, the air conditioner in the villa can never get cold enough, and he can’t stand to eat anything hotter than a mild chili without feeling the urge to hide in the depth of the pool and hope that once he resurfaces it might be just a degree cooler.

It never is though.

It’s hot, as hot as it was earlier in the day when he, Mario, and André took to wandering around the island. André shopping for Montana, Mario looking for something for Ann, and Marco following behind them in a daze. Did he have someone to shop for? He has his sisters, he has Nico, he has an abundance of family that, for the longest time, was his only drive in the morning to wake and face the world with a crooked smile and a sad sense of humor.

But he has friends now, the same friends that had taken him out to eat with others, teased him and in response he returned the favor, and he has a friend that shines above all else. The same friend who’s beside him now with his hands clutching the railing of the balcony overlooking the waves lap at the edge of the sand.

“My favorite word?” Marco asks.

Mario doesn’t look at him. His gaze is still steady ahead of them like he’s looking past this reality and into another and Marco notes how sad his eyes seem. But he can only see the corner of them so he looks away, like he’s not supposed to see that, that it’s too private, and tries to see the world that Mario is looking at. “Well?”

Marco tries to see something on the sunset horizon of the paradise they only have a couple more days left in. He tries to see a world so similar to the one they live in now, where he is still him and Mario is still Mario but there’s something else, something sweeter underneath the way they hug one another and how their features soften with a look of fondness whenever their eyes settle on one another in a crowd.

He wants to see this reality, wants to witness it form and take shape and take the love he feels bursting inside of him and finally let loose. He wants to feel the ache dissipate and be replaced by a sense of compassion and fulfillment. He wants to stop pretending that his love is platonic and only that. The ache returns and his vision blurs slightly; Mario is still looking for his answer.

“Halcyon.”

“Why?”

Mario doesn’t wait more than a second before asking the reason why and Marco doesn’t know if he can explain it. His mind goes to the first time he met Mario, a seemingly pointless Tuesday afternoon that left such an imprint on him that he can vividly remember the look in his friend’s eyes, see the way his smile brightened the room, and how his body felt so warm when they shook hands.

“Because it just sounds nice. I don’t know.”

 _You’re a liar_ , Marco thinks.

He knows why he loves the word so much. It’s the same reason his hair is its normal natural shade of red, of why he shows his tattoos more save for the private ones around his wrist. It’s the reason why he agreed to go on vacation with his friends, and the reason that he wore a specific shade of lavender blue for dinner. Because Mario said he likes them, and Marco is weak.

Whatever sense of idyllic happiness that his friend gifts him is worth it. Any sense of emotion he can feel transfer from Mario to him is enough, or, it is for a short amount of time before he starts to get hungry again. He wants more of it; wants more of his sunny smiles and another piece of his warm, welcoming heart. He wants to nestle between the nerves and the capillary veins and call it home. He wants to suffocate on the sound of his name in Mario’s mouth.

“It’s supposed to be a time of happiness, right? Like a really good place in time.”

Mario laughs. “You don’t even know what it means.”

It’s not meant to be malicious but Marco starts to feel the ache all over again. No, he knows what it means. It’s the feeling of seeing Mario happy, of seeing him succeed, of seeing him live a rich life. That is what halcyon means to Marco. It means being a part of Mario’s life in any capacity.

“What about you then, huh? What’s genius Mario got up his sleeve?” Marco feel himself smile finally but he still keeps his gaze locked on the ocean. He can’t look at Mario, not yet. But Mario doesn’t answer right away and Marco starts to get nervous so he finally peers out of the corner of his eyes and he can feel the wall start to crumble. Mario looks on the verge of tears and Marco hopes that if he bites his tongue hard enough, it’ll rip off and go down his throat.

Instead of speaking, Mario finally turns to look at Marco. Rather, he looks down at his arm and reaches out with a gentle touch that peels down another layer of a carefully constructed wall. Or maybe the wall had always had Sunny shaped holes in the hopes that the defense would be broken. Marco isn’t sure anymore, but what he is sure of is that Mario is twisting his arm delicately in his hands, and when his fingers touch Marco’s inked name on his forearm -

_Oh._

His vision blurs again. It becomes a sea of red and blue and then a lilac sky of nerves - Mario's turn gold and Marco's go to a sad green. How his skin starts to burn with a dangerous orange. “Sunny?” Marco asks when he realizes that no matter how hard he hopes, his tongue won’t disappear. He needs to hear Mario say something, to say anything.

The lilac turns to a deep purple and he starts to fidget. “Hey, talk to me.” Marco’s voice falsifies confidence. He’s coming apart at the seams and Mario’s close enough to see the fraying edges.

“Marco.” He says finally.

“Yeah?” Marcos asks as he shuffles in place.

“That’s my word.”

Reality starts to warp - two different identities start to mesh into one. Marco feels like himself still, he can still remember the things he likes and the things he doesn’t. He knows when his birthday is and what Nico’s favorite color is. He knows that Mario is his best friend and something more, something more treasured in his heart and maybe that’s why this second version of him starts to sing. His second self is telling him to react, that this might be the compassion he’s always wanted.

“Why?”

When, seems more applicable but in the back of his mind he knows that that’s not entirely true anymore. The two of them had always been good at reading each other, have always been two steps ahead of everyone else that interacted with them. Sometimes it was harmless like knowing the end of a joke before it was told, and others - others it was like this. Like this moment with Mario’s hands on his arm and his eyes following the movement of his fingers.

“Same reason you said you liked Halcyon.”

For a time of idyllic happiness.

Marco feels himself break, feels the colors bleed out of their lines and form into a melting pot of desire, love, and freedom. He grabs a hold of Mario’s hands and brings them to his lips, pressing each color into his palm. Blue for the nights playing video games until the sun seeped through the blinds, red for the way he feels at peace in his company, and green for the wealth of joy their friendship has brought him. Gray is for the time spent apart, gold is for his personality, and yellow is for the false gold moments of fear of growing apart.

Purple is for now, and white is for the future. A clean slate ready to be muddied once more.

Mario’s looking at Marco with wild, pleading eyes and Marco presses another kiss to his hands. “Wanna know why I picked halcyon?” _Do you want to know the real reason?_

He nods and Marco puts Mario’s hands against his face.

“Because that’s what you are. You’re halcyon.” Mario is his time and place of calm happiness.

Mario laughs softly and calls him lame as his fingers wrap around Marco’s, his nails brushing against the stubble on Marco’s cheeks. “And you’re my Marco.”

Marco laughs through the swell of acceptance in his heart. The realities have merged, there’s no difference now and for that he settles for something else.

“I better be the only Marco.”

“The only one that matters anyway.”

**Author's Note:**

> i don't know what this is honestly???? i was just listening to this one song a lot and this just kind of came up. that and at work the other day we were goofing around and asked each other what our favorite words were and what we wanted to be if we came back to life.
> 
> thanks for any kudos and comments xo


End file.
